A little over 3 years ago and after years of taking the medication my doctors to me I had to take I came to the conclusion that none of it was actually working for me. I attempted to talk this over with said doctors and their only response was “we will give you more”.

That was not the answer I was looking for and not the answer I accepted. So I decided to stop everything and stop it dead. For a few months I felt like shit but eventually I got it out of my system and it made no difference what so ever.

At the time my CPN, Sue, didn’t like it but accepted that I had and still have capacity and accepted it. After Sue retired a new CPN came along who wasn’t quite so respectful and we will just say he resorted to life changing threats to force me back onto medication.

Long and short of it was I lost ALL trust in mental health services and I walked away from them.

Given recent events, last week I felt I needed to talk to someone and maybe start to re-build that lost/smashed trust again but we were starting from zero. I explained to my GP that I didn’t want to involve mental health service at this stage but I would talk to the inhouse support team and see what developed. It was left with my GP saying she would sort things out.

A few days later I logged into the NHS app and checked what my GP was doing and her notes said that she had ignored my request to not involve mental health services and instead went straight to them asking for their involvement and to consider medication.

Talk about being left feeling like I had been monumentally FUCKED over.

So, here we are. I’ve written to my GP instruction them that they are to take this matter no further and that what they have done is completely unacceptable and means there is now zero trust between not only mental health services but also my GP Practice.

Disgraceful behaviour on their part I feel.