Today I reached a point with my mental health that I knew I needed some sort of outside help to possibly stop sinking further into a proper crisis. I called my GP at 11:00am and asked if I could make an appointment with their “Talking Therapy” person, team or whatever they are only to be told that they don’t actually have that service up and running just now and I should maybe call back in a few weeks time and see if they can do anything then!!!!

At 11:10am I called my GP’s office back and asked if I could book a telephone appointment with my GP to discuss my options. This time I was told they make GP appointments available at 10:30am each day and they didn’t have any appointments left so I would need to call tomorrow at 10:30am and see if they can help then!!!!!

At 11:30am I called the crisis team (a service I have ZERO respect or confidence in). The phone just kept ringing and ringing so in the end I just hung up.

So I’m left with no options whatsoever other than just sit it out and try and sort things out in my own head my own way.

The only other option is to get in a taxi and head down to A&E, sit around in a dirty waiting room for 6 – 10 hours and ask to speak to someone from mental health services who will do a total of absolutely bugger all and send me home.

At the moment that isn’t a necessary or the correct action yet, that’s what I’m trying to avoid having to happen.

I try not to involve mental health services if I can, after years of being subjected to their rules and overpowering demands with nothing back I don’t see them as the answer to much. But just now I need something from them even if it’s just acknowledgement that I’m struggling but I’m left with nothing as usual!!!!

And just in case you are wondering about the word “SHITE” here’s an explanation from the brilliant Kevin Bridges