My Father

First and foremost what I am about to write is not in any way an attempt to discredit my father in any way. My father, like my mother is an amazing human being who is kind and upstanding in so many ways that are not seen in this day and age.

He worked hard to always put food on the table and a roof over our heads as we grew up. We had holidays and Christmas and birthdays were always special. In those ways we never wanted for anything and for all of that I will always love, support and respect my father. If I turn out to be a 10th of what he (and my mother) is then I’ll be alright.

However, there are and have been some problems and these problems have had a life long impact on my life and not in a positive way.

It’s fair to say that my father holds some very extreme views on our society and in some ways those views cross the line into the realms of hatred. While I agree with the concept that we can all hold whatever views and opinions we want it is not always right or helpful to openly express and shout those views and opinions out loud. My father does!

Many of his “views” on the LGBT, Vulnerable and Neurodiverse communities over my lifetime have directly lead me to live my life with a feeling of fear and rejection and account for a large percentage my feelings of being inadequate in my fathers eyes and therefore the eyes of the world. Hearing my father talk about hating LGBT people knowing that I was secretly part of the LGBT community just left me so confused and frightened.

Sadly, this diminishes some of the many amazing and positive attributes my father has and I don’t think he realises it or at least he doesn't want to realise it and I’m sure he doesn't mean any direct harm. But reality is it does cause harm and hurt.

An old but very true saying is “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt, or It's better to keep your mouth shut.

There are probably many more years of reflection for me on how my father’s views have impacted on me and in reality I probably don’t have that many more years with my father so I will treasure the positives while trying to temper his negatives just a little bit.